Big and Little Transformations

A serene moment during a Reiki therapy session, where healing energy is channeled to promote relaxation and well-being.

You can imagine that, for the dying person, the moment of death is a big deal. It's at least as big a deal as getting born. Now expand that moment into the sunlit-filtered room, stepping back to see the profound change in the circle of caregivers who are there for the dying person. Often, the family members are those who are the most affected. But everyone on that person's team is transformed; the hospice nurse, death doula, doctor, housekeepers, food preparers, neighbors and friends and, co-workers. This immediate change is what I'd call a big transformation. It's a leap!

There are little transformations that happen every day, too. From sunrise and weather - obvious changes for all who live on this planet - to political, social, educational, and cultural transformations that occur during the day of a presidential election, a family wedding, the first day of school, and a tribe's decision to trek across the wilderness toward a land of milk and honey. These are just a few examples.

I go through little transformations as if my life depended on it. I hunger for knowledge and thirst for learning environments, so I've always been drawn to education and library careers. Now that I am an end-of-life doula, I continue to be immersed in a community of learners and advocates for the benefits of continuous learning. I also benefit greatly from playing well with teams. There is so much to be gained from the experiences and wisdom of those who have taken a similar path and who have shared through books, webinars, classes, and other interactions.

For example, I am in the middle of Level One Reiki training. This Japanese-founded healing method is recognized by many nurses in the hospice and end-of-life worlds as a practice that can offer another way to support the dying person. Sometimes it might simply be a calming presence, which is important in itself. Sometimes it can be more.

I gained a sense of the subtleties of a Reiki session when I was the one receiving. It was lovely and given with such care that I felt well-tended to. And later that evening, I asked my partner if I could give him a Reiki session in order to gain some practice. He willingly stretched out on the recliner. This is a perfect place for a hospice volunteer, like me, to learn how to gracefully move around in such a place so as to keep the energy even.

After I finished, I handed him a glass of water and asked him how it went. He said it was very nice, very relaxing. Then he looked at me and asked, "Did your hands get really hot somehow?"

I was taken aback. When I was doing this, there was a spot that seemed to generate so much heat that I thought my hands were burning! But I didn't want to say anything to disrupt the session, nor lead him into talking about this. I wanted him to bring up anything to confirm what I thought.

And as he did, I had to sit down and let that sink in.

Amazing.

I am being transformed! Can't wait for the next class!

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Transformation (a poem after my first Reiki class)

These hands, how remarkable each digit, wrinkle, vein blue river bulging under a layer of skin roots to my wrist, eyes follow the line up my arm, up where I imagine it leads to my heart.

These palms, suitable for writing and touching, cupping and flowing and radiating heat, light, energy. Belief. Flowing through and pouring out, from and to my heart.

Breath is lost to time when beaming and lightly touching. We are connecting; it is an honor to be included in one’s life and its looming transformation.