Embracing the Cold Days and Deep Nights

Cold days and nights bring a unique set of challenges for those who are nearing death or simply exploring the idea. The drop in temperature can affect your mood, energy, and overall comfort. This post explores ideas to embrace the chill instead of just enduring it.

Push Back the Winter

Every moment away from pain and embracing love is a relief, and in this way, a gift. Because I work with clients who have stepped into their final weeks or months (hospice), I am constantly reminded of the precious gems of each minute in the comfort of our own bed or room, whenever possible. It's doubly special to have these moments to be pain-free, lucid, and surrounded by warmth and love.

One of my roles as an EOL (End-of-Life) Doula is to help my client reach that goal. It's like bringing the warmth of a late spring day into the middle of a winter storm. I can provide ways to reduce pain (energy healing/Reiki and guided meditation), and help clients know they are not alone, even if the storm is raging. We'll focus on fun and meaningful moments, now, in the past, and in the near future. We can also do some planning; this can help reduce worry.

It's all about building a sanctuary not only in our spaces, but in our hearts and minds. It's easy to feel out of control with everything that is going on; doctors' and nurses' visits, family expectations and dynamics, legal questions, and the challenges of our failing bodies and abilities. It's easy to feel lost and alone.

I have met people who have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and combat that with a special UV (full-spectrum) light. I know of others who have moved to places that offer more sunshine all year round. Some take up vigorous exercise, adopt a dog, or go on vacation to the Virgin Islands.

For those in hospice, the bedroom (or where the bed is located) can be an inviting sanctuary. It can offer beautiful candlelight or soft lighting, and be a place of music and comfort for all. Make it easy to manipulate and maneuver through remotes (for electric candles and lightbulbs, for example). Keep it restful while mirroring what the client finds most comfortable and pleasing. If they don't like purple, then by all means don't use purple! If they are troubled by a lot of clomping footfalls on the floor, have a sign posted to please remove shoes when entering. It's all about what they find to be the absolute best-feeling place. Because, as I said, every moment counts. Let's not waste time on anything less.

For those whose bodies are failing, all curled up under layered bedding, whose energy is sapped by the nausea and pain of their illness and treatments and medications, we can pause to be there for them. We can offer our neighbors, friends, and family respectful moments together playing cards or music, bringing hot soup, or the warmth of our gentle hugs.

We can offer ourselves through poems and songs, cards and a smile in greeting. We're all going to be at the end of our days, too. Our clients help us learn how to take care, to prepare for that.

Reiki (Healing Touch)

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