Taking the Helm

In my journey as a Death Doula and hospice volunteer, I find that the topic of death and dying is often on my mind. There are many 'little deaths' (I'm not speaking of carnal deaths in this case) in our lives, from cycles of the moon and the passage of time to the goodbyes from loved ones who must return to their lives after a great visit.

My husband and I just returned from a sailing vacation around the British Virgin Islands. We went with others in our sailing group to form strong friendships and learn more sailing skills. Each of us had our turn on the many jobs it takes to safely sail a 48' yacht, often with strong currents, sea swells, and brisk winds. We each joyfully shared the onboard duties of cooking and cleaning and took care of each other and brought our strengths to the forefront.

I was gifted the opportunity to provide yoga stretching, guided imagery, and Reiki to the group, which helped with stiffness, sore muscles, relaxation, and helped with a crew member's sea sickness. When I can give of these, I am rewarded with the giving. I will never forget the look on my friend's face when her nausea moved to the background and she fell asleep, giving herself some needed rest. Later, she told me how much it helped and in turn, I was given a meaningful moment.

Another beautiful, shared experience the three of us crew women had was when we were bobbing and floating on inflatable hammocks in a quiet cove off Peter's Island while I gave a guided imagery session. It was ethereal. I benefit from these as well.

I think back on when I took the helm a few times, especially during that first day when the winds were about 20 mph, gusting to 25. Things can happen fast: a loose line, a need to dodge a turtle, a sudden course change that could throw us from starboard to port. There were a few times when it hit me that I was responsible for the other 7 people aboard, and to pay attention to keep them safe. This is how I feel about working with my clients.

This is how I feel about my life, as well. When I purposefully take charge of the helm, no matter how rough the seas might feel above the waves and below with the driving currents, I feel fully present. When I coordinate the power of the wind, sails, rudder, and sea into a harmonious blend, it feels great.

Leaving the BVI was inevitable. I took a short shot of us taking off from Lettsome Airport, to say goodbye to the location, the many places we visited through sailing and snorkeling, and to the entire experience with our friends. I grieved a little with a big sigh.

I am back and look forward to seeing my hospice clients and catching up. I feel refreshed in my mind, heart, and spirit,