Journey into a Pause

You'll notice a gap between the last post and this one. I have a good reason for that: I have been in a remote location with no wifi for a few months. At times, it felt like I was immersed in Thoreau's Walden Pond. For a few moments, I imagined myself at a Buddhist meditation retreat. It was certainly quiet, and I was surrounded by animals, trees, water, and very few humans.

Then there were the times that I held my phone high over my head to try to reach some sort of signal as I marched about. My anxiousness peaked, and I would catch myself in this pose, heart racing, brow furrowed. My phone showed "SOS" in the upper right corner and tempted me to connect to a satellite.

"Give it up," I told myself. "It's okay to wait until I can get to a place with wifi." There was the weekly laundromat run or library day, and if they were open (occasionally, they'd be closed for odd reasons), to check on the essentials. But surprisingly, most of what I thought was absolutely important peeled away as the weeks danced by.

I read, painted, wrote stories and poems, provided Reiki, and got to know my neighbors, both human and animal. I rode my bike and read, worked in my garden, hiked in the mountains, and sailed on the water. I thought and then noticed that my thoughts slowed down, as in a perpetual meditative state. It all felt like a healing time; like a journey into a pause.

Life can be exciting when I have three or four clients and meetings a day, running from one thing to another, fitting in yet another chore or project or errand on my 'to-do' list. I feel young and invigorated. I feel useful and accomplished. I have always been active, a doer, and one to motivate others to get out and have an adventure.

I can appreciate the life of a Hobbit; happy to stay home and tend to the flowers and bread-baking, writing and tending to the well-being lives we can create for ourselves. But for me, I am driven to get to that trailhead early in the day, to see where it will lead, to experience the air and sky, rustling sounds above and below. It's all music and laughter, energy filled with the wonder of being.

I am back from this journey now, and refreshed again to take on whatever the new day has to offer. My heart is filled with joy as I return to my life here.